Part 27: Battle: Any Number Of Puns Involving The Word Lang

Update 17: Any Number Of Puns Involving The Word "Lang" (Battle)

Alright, let's get the first major story arc over with. Lang is within our sights, meaning we can finally get revenge for...all those terrible things he did mostly offscreen. But he's a dick, and we've murdered bosses for less.

First of all though, let's spy on our troops yet again.





Um. Okay.





Another one of those stat staves, this one increases damage dealt by weapons.













How does that make him better at shooting men?

Anyway, inside the castle...



: Reinforcements are arriving soon; if we can hold out a little longer, we can make a pincer attack.



Oh balls.

: There is no need for restraint. Slice them to pieces!



: Oh-ho! That's my Navarre. They say not even Ogma of Talys is your equal.

: What? Ogma?! N... Naturally... A guy like him is no match for me.

: I see. Glad to hear it. Then I'll leave this place in your capable hands, Navarre!



Time to get things started. I swapped Caeda out for Julian, because I need him to pick up Rickard.



Let's get to that.



There's one solitary mage in this lonely corridor. Why this corridor is so lightly guarded, I don't know, because there's something ridiculously valuable in there. Well, maybe not too lightly guarded, because...



Fucking hell, Swarm bishops. Long range tomes are even worse than balista, because these guys work off Res, which most units have jackshit in.



The left side of the map is full of Knights, so I'm sending in our bulkier mounted units first.



Here's the animation for Swarm. Insert your own Wicker Man joke, I guess.



Luke missing here might be a blessing in disguise, because these guys hit harder than I thought, and if another had slid in he could have been dead.



Javelins still have shit Might.



This image pinpoints the place where I had a heart attack. HE MISSED, THANK FIRE EMBLEM GOD.

At the start of the Second Turn...







Has it ever turned out that way, Jagen?



Steve takes revenge for her failed Mage career by gutting this poor bastard.



Sirius takes out the Steel Lance knight and nabs a Door Key that ought to prove useful soon. Time for some Cleanup.









Oh god, it's happening. Ryan can't double the Knight. The speed trap is coming for our Wunderkind.



And an unnecessary crit from Marth finishes off the (visible) enemies on the left side of the map.





After last map, I'm not going to do this "forget the healer" shit again.



Swarm got Catria low, so I'm getting her the fuck outta there.



Moving Julian to open the locked door required me to put him in Swarm range, but luckily he is an adept Bug Dodger.

At the beginning of Turn 3...





Well, there's someone I missed.

: You too, sire. Norne and I escaped from Altea Castle and we rode here as fast as we could.

Norne? Who the fuck is-



Oh. Hey there. Norne is a character who was completely impossible to get on any difficulty above Normal in Shadow Dragon. She only shows up if you lose two or more units in the prologue, including the required sacrifice. Because of this, a lot of players don't even know she exists.

: You don't have to apologize, I'm just glad that you're safe. The others can take care of themselves.





She has a slight southern drawl. This is her only character trait. Shadow Dragon!



Statwise, Norne is yet another Archer, and actually our last one. I didn't say Snipers.

Norne is about as "meh" as they come. Low joining stats, decent bases, but really not worth the effort if you have a decent Gordin, Ryan, Castor, or Warren, which you probably do by now.



Frey is interesting. His base stats are merely okay, but his growths are great. Personally, with how well Luke is turning out, I don't think we'll need him, but he's worth considering if you like him.

They both join automatically.



I'm going to assemble a group in the start point. Norne's advice is worth listening to, ours aren't the only reinforcements on this map.



Let's get another new unit.





: Well, I was plannin' on workin' with you and makin' loadsa money, but you had to go and quit the business! Fallin' head over heels for that beautiful cleric, and then dumpin' me... That's just too cruel! Did our love really mean that little to you?





See, Fire Emblem totally did ambiguously gay before Heather! Who was also a thief. Is that an obscure stereotype I'm not aware of?

: Anyway, forget about thievin' and come with me to fight for justice.

: Hmm... alright then! I'll follow you anywhere. I do adore ya, Chief!

Well, that was an easy one. Let's get to the stats.



Rickard isn't great. His stats aren't as good as Julian's, so his only real use is utility. On a few maps with lots of chests, he can be useful, but keeping him up to level is a pain, and on a run where you don't care about turn counts, I wouldn't bother with this guy.



That is worth 10,000 Gold. That is a sweet treasure.



I could open this door now. Not yet, though. Not yet.



As soon as the turn ends, 4 enemies spawn on the southern edge of the map.



But we have bigger fish to fry.



TIME FOR THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY



Refereed by: BIG BANG LANG



And: ELFIRE MAGE



ROUND ONE: TALK!





: Do you mean to kill me, no matter what? Hmph, very well. I knew that we'd have to settle our score eventually.



what

what the fuck is this

: I-it's me, Samto! Have you forgotten, Ogma?

: Samto?! Samto, the gladiator from Knorda?

Knorda (Slave) Market was mentioned a few times earlier, and we'll see it eventually in this game as well.

: Yes, I was a slave gladiator at the time, and you really helped me out. Even when everyone was making their escape, you stayed behind to distract the guards and ended up caught...

: ......

: I heard everything from my friends. How you were dragged out to the square and whipped until you looked like a corpse. How, by chance, the young Princess Talys, tears in her eyes, stood up for you and saved you. And that's why you swore your blade to Talys. Or rather... to the princess...

This Ogma backstory dump is totally missable if you recruit Samto with Caeda instead. It was alluded to a bit in the first game, but this comes right out and says what happened. It might have also been mentioned in the anime for FE1 that had like, 2 episodes, but I've never seen it. He just makes an offhand remark about how "she's smokin'..." and Caeda immediately realizes it isn't really Navarre.

: Enough! Say no more! It's in the past...no more...

: ...Ogma... Anyway, I want to repay you! I'm following you from now on, okay?

Behold, IS just tricked you into thinking you'd be getting one of the best Swordsmasters in the previous game, instead, you get...



Samto. Samto, Samto, Samto. Poor guy just doesn't really stand out anywhere. Bad bases, bad growths...he does get pretty fast, but it doesn't mean much when he's just going to plink off of everything.

He does have the Aquarius shard, though! (Which he drops if you kill him. I also like that since Samto is kind of a moron, he took the Starshard that enhances Magic, a stat he doesn't use. )



Anyway, now that we're done with all that dialogue, time for the reinforcements.



Oh, Catria's coming too.



Two more soldiers spawn at the start of Turn 5.



Marth is critting like mad today.



And I forgot how fragile Malicia was. Damn.



Nosferatu, though...pretty good.



Oh, here's Norne's rather colorful battle sprite, showing it off because we probably won't see much more of her unless there are some really big Norne fans in the audience. For some reason.





I want to be happy about this, but I see the Speed and oh god





This, though, I will be happy with.



Meanwhile Steve makes faces at Lang and insults his mother.



Another 4-pack on Turn 6, Knight, Archer, two Soldiers.

I'm not going to show much of me clearing these guys out, because they just keep coming for a while and it's really boring. Just trust me, they die eventually.



Here's an unnecessary crit again to satisfy your screenshot bloodlust.



This was nice. Barst does a lot of heavy lifting here.



Pretty good level on Yumina here. She probably won't see too much use, but hey, I'm fine with this.



Also I'm sick of Swarm Bishop's shit pinning Julian and Rickard down. Send in the extermi-Frey-tor.



Last group, a Knight and Archer on Turn 7.



Fuck bugs.



Not bad, but I still miss her godly levels from around 3 and 3x.



Oh, and now Frey is going to throw Javelins at this man until he dies.



Here's the aftermath of Reinforcementgeddon 2015. That's most of the map done, but we still have Lang and his personal guard of Knights and Bishops.



...no.



stop that

(He has a Physic Stave. I forgot to mention that, but it was a pain.)



There, that makes things much easier.



Good thing these things phase through walls.



Aww, Catria, I expect better from you.





This is nice, though. That will help someone like Barst or Malicia.

Killing that guy opened a free route to the treasure, which is...



Yessss. Make sure you get this. Miss it, and you're fucked.



This is okay too. Raises Res, a lot of uses. Sort of a limited utility item, but good in a pinch.



Now I can charge everyone through here, and introduce this poor Mage to Barst.





Thanks, new friend!



Just one more thing to do now.



After all Lang's "PINCER ATTACK" babble at the start of the map, I thought I'd show him how those actually work.



First things first, let's make sure Barst doesn't get slaughtered.



Meh.



Side A is in position as well. LET'S ROCK





I still love you, Luke.





Javelin fight!



6 damage crit!



This was the luckiest miss.



Steve continues to have issues with the magical folk.







Barst is growing into a murder machine.





That's more like it, Catria.



(Boss Theme: Confronting A Strong Foe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjbUJHQgM-w)

So, let's talk about Lang. His Starshard gives him an additional 2 to his already threatening 13 Def, and even though he only has a Javelin, he can take a while to deal with with his nearly 40 HP. Low Res would make him a good target for mages, though, and since he is armored...













The Rapier is damn good here. Lang also has some special quotes if he's confronted first by Steve:


: Lang! You have oppressed countless people, and insulted my liege. You can only atone for these sins with your life!

And one if he's fought first with any other unit:

: W-wait, please! I'm sorry... Please forgive me... I've only done as the Emperor ordered me to. I didn't agree with him, but I had no choice. So... so please, s-spare my life... I'll do anything you say. Yes... Just like this... Mwahaha! You shouldn't have let your guard down! You fool... Now die!



A few more whacks bring him low...



Marth gets a well deserved level...

And I figure it would be best to finish Lang off in the most humiliating way possible. Remember Malicia's introduction?



REVENGE







R.I.P. Lang. Charbroiled in his own armor by a ten year old girl.



That is...unfortunately worded.



MAP CEAR





The Pope is here. For exposition.

: Lang accused me of collaborating with the rebels and had me imprisoned. Even though I told him that I must fulfill a mission assigned to me by Archsage Gotoh...

Gotoh is the world's oldest mage, and the teacher of Linde's father and Gharnef. He helped out in the last chapter of FE1/Shadow Dragon in the battle against Medeus.

: A mission from Lord Gotoh?

FOXDIE?

: That's correct... You have seen the "Starsphere"–the holy orb with the twelve constellations etched on its surface. In order to pierce Gharnef's shadowy veil, Lord Gotoh created a sacred spell named "Starlight" from that orb.



: Lord Gotoh told me that this world has long been guarded by five orbs of mysterious arcane power, and that if even one of them is lost, the world will fall into irreparable ruin. By any means possible, we must gather the twelve star shards and restore the Starsphere.

This was sorta touched on in Shadow Dragon. We saw some of the orbs used, but not much mention was made of them aside from the Starsphere and Lightsphere being used to create Starlight, the only spell that can harm Gharnef.



Yeah, he's pulling your leg, Marth.



Oh, hey, we've been finding these on the way.

: After we retake Altea, we'd be glad to help you find the remaining shards and orbs.

: Of course... Your country was only just invaded by the Empire... I understand, Prince... I too shall fight to restore Altea, then. Thinking about it, my meeting with you is like a sign from Lord Gotoh himself. In that case, I shall surrender myself to fate. But, please, let's stop by the Fane of Raman. We may be able to find some star shards in the ancient temple.

The Fane of Raman was a level in Shadow Dragon as well. Tiki the Manakete lived there.

: Understood. If it's the Fane of Raman, we can go there on our way to Altea!

There's a fade out here.



: That's right, sire.

: Steve, since leaving Altea, we've been in a great deal of fights. Looking back on them now...

This is more variable dialogue.



This is the best result, and means we haven't lost a unit so far, ever. Hooray! However, Marth's dialogue if you get the worst result (tons of dead units) is...

: All I remember is seeing our companions fall, one by one... Enough! I don't want any of our comrades to suffer that pain. Steve, please, help me.

Marth's whole PTSD thing is really in this game. Poor guy.

Also, if you cleared this chapter in under 24 turns (on Hard) OR recruited and did not lose Rickard...



: Just ahead, the enemy seems to be preparing some kind of ambush. It's not the Archanean Empire, but likely, I fear, mercenaries hired with coin.

: Mercenaries, is it...? Do we continue as we are or take a longer, safer route? Personally, I'd rather not detour. We have to return to Altea as soon as possible.

: Hmph, if you would allow me to speak as your tactician... I think we ought to stay here and fight.





: Steve, your thoughts?

: I agree with Sir Jagen.

: I see, thank you. Jagen, Steve! The whole army shall move on as they were. We'll hit the mercenaries head-on!

Since we got this scene, the next chapter will be:



The second optional bonus map. This is an interesting one. Oh, and since we got Wendell after that, here are his stats.



His growths are downright embarrassing (20% Magic.), but for the time being, he's alright. He makes a better healer than Yumina right now if you aren't planning on using her, since he does have Staves unlocked.

That's the end of that long update, next time will bring:

Update 18: The Hat